I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
