sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
