I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
