So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
