Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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