Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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