so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
