is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I have fence marks all over my body
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