I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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