Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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