I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
