I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
