I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
