Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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