Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
