Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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