I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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