My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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