Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
