i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
