CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
