respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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