then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
