The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
