He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
