Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
