My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
