Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
