Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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