can we get nightvision for the apartment?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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