if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
