You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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