the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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