Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
