Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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