Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
