is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
