I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
