Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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