The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
how drunk are you?
Several
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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