so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
