sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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