i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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