You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
