just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
