Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
