Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
