We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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