Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
