How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
