Your tits are I can't wait for
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
