watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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