dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
